


Unbreachable

by nikantros



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Homophobia, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-28 00:31:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13259841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikantros/pseuds/nikantros
Summary: Erwin Smith walks into the Woods.He did not think he would find love on the way.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s getting dark but Erwin knows he has to keep going, if he ever wishes to reach the castle. To reach the chamber, a voice whispers in his head. And he needs to reach it. He needs the answers to his questions like others need food and water and some fresh air. 

He can hear something passing through the woods behind him and almost he imagines that it’s a werewolf or a nachtmahr or one of these dark spirits that are rumored to steal children right out of their cradle. Calm down, he tells himself. Calm down, others have survived the wood before you, or else you would not know these stories.

Still he fastens his steps, looking over his shoulder, seeing shadows in every tree and voices in each whisper of the wind. He is almost running now, climbing over an ancient tree, that leads over a deep ditch.

And just as he hears a crack in the branches behind him, he steps on a loose piece of wood and he’s falling. He tries to protect his head with his arms, but still when he hits the ground of the ditch everything goes black.

He’s lucky. It’s not a werewolf that finds the unconscious man. Neither is it a nachtmahr. It’s two children, or so they seem. A girl runs forward, stumbling to her knees before the man. "Look, Farlan, what I’ve found! Do you think he’s a human?“, she exclaims.

Farlan is more reserved. "He does not belong here“, he says. "We would be better of just leaving him here, he might be dangerous. See, he even carries a sword, only soldiers carry swords like that.“

The girl is pouting, you can see it in her crossed arms and the small wrinkle between her eyebrows. "That doesn’t mean anything," she says. "He probably just got lost like they all do. We really ought to help him. Please!“

Farlan exhales. He’s rubbing his temple. "Very well“, he gives in. "We might as well bring him to Levi for the night. But if anything happens know that I’ve warned you.“ Although his tone is serious a playful brightness has appeared in his eyes. 

A couple of small steps and the girl is hugging the man’s waist. "Thank you! You know it’s the right thing to do, you just know!“, she shrieks while she’s tangling from Farlan’s arms.

He scoffs and tries to lift her of himself. "Hey, let go, Isabel“, he finally exclaims. "Besides, you have to help me carry this guy, he looks like he weights about 14 stones!“

 

Erwin slowly wakes from a dark abyss. He can’t remember his dream, but the feeling of it still clings to him, the suffocating blackness of the forest and his strive for the knowledge, that he could not let go. This dream that he had not, could not let go since the disappearance of his father. 

But a ray of sunlight shines brightly on his face, and when Erwin slowly opens his eyes he finds himself in a little cabin. It must be day already. He’s lying in a small bed, but the quilt is warm and the pillow soft and when he turns he can make out a kitchen corner with a small table on the right side, while the rest of the room is filled with all manners of foreign herbs and plants. There are tons and tons of books and parchments assorted in regals on the walls with little phials and heavy containers filled with liquids of all sorts of colors between them. A heavy scent of sweet rose essence and spice lies above everything.

I must be dreaming, still, Erwin thinks.

He closes his eyes again. Maybe when he opens them again he will find himself at the barracks again, with Mike shaking him to tear him from the clutches of a weird dream, that lead him to walk into the forest and wake up in a stranger’s cabin. 

Instead he hears the creaking of an old door being slowly opened and quiet voices.

"Do you think he’s awake already?“

"Well, if he isn’t now he should be soon.“

"You don’t figure he hurt himself too badly when he fell?“

"I checked his head already, it’s nothing serious.“

Erwin stirs slightly and then pushes himself up on his elbows. He finds three people standing in front of him tentatively. There is a girl with red disheveled hair, a dirty dress and a wide smile, while in contrast the lean, light boy next to her wears an anxious expression. And then there is a third person. A small man, with dark hair and a youthful face, although his eyes a deeply sunken in and covered by shadows.

"So you’re awake!“, the girl screams excitedly, taking a couple of steps forward. "You must be a human! It has been years that a human has dared to enter the forest. Farlan here has said you're a soldier. Is that true?“

The boy, Farlan, coughs slightly. "I think that enough, Isabel“, he says softly. He puts a hand on Isabel’s shoulder and pulls her lightly away from Erwin, but it seems to the man that there is more behind the gesture than just granting him some rest. Farlan does not want Isabel to get to close to him.

"I don’t know“, the dark man intervenes, answering Isabel’s question. "Must not have been the brightest soldier if he decided to enter the forest and then managed to slip down a ditch just at the fall of dawn.

Erwin shakes his head slowly. The strong perfume of the room envelops his head and leadens it. "I just…“, he starts and sinks down unto the pillow again. "I just wanted to find he castle“, he manages.

A deep silence fills the room and make him uneasy. There is a heaviness in this tranquility that he has never recognized before. In the end the dark-haired man just sighs. "Let’s make you a tea“, he says.

 

Erwin ends up in a chair next to the small, wooden table, with a cup of a spicy tea that he has never tasted before in his life. While it lies heavy on the tongue in the beginning, soon slightly sweet flavors that have hidden behind the general fullness of the liquid evaporate and fill his throat with a feeling of home. It seems to him that the sunlight has become even brighter than before. It front of him the dark-haired man sits, slightly frowning, but staying quiet. Farlan has taken Erwin’s place on the bed, after having pulled out a book tome from one of the shelfs. Isabel is outside, having muttered something about looking if the flowers need some more watering. 

Finally the man breaks the silence. "You know what will await you at the castle?“, he asks pointedly, "surely you must have heard of the rose hedge.“

Of course Erwin has heard of the rose hedge. It stands 12 feet tall or so they say. Nobody can breach it. Many have tried and they all have died doing so, pierced by the thorns, cut down to shreds. 

"There are stories of people that succeeded,“ he insists, still. "A prince for whom the hedge disappeared so he could wake a girl from her slumber.“

The man scoffs. "The girl is dead, a mummy, conserved by time. And her prince hangs in the hedge. I know them. The origin of their story lies in the west, but you must be searching for the castle in the east. It makes no difference. The curse of the roses devours everyone“, he retorts. The man looks Erwin in the eyes, his gaze unflinching. "There are creatures in this forest no human has even ever heard of. You can count yourself lucky that Farlan and Isabel have found you. And even if you would have reached the castle, what makes you think that you could have crossed the hedge?“

Erwin knows all of this, deep inside he does. But there has been this other thing inside of him that needed the answers to his questions, that needed to know why his father had died all this years ago, why he had needed to die. Nile made fun of him, for that. For asking questions. Why risking his cosy life as a guard of the lord for a couple of answers that will benefit nobody, at least not directly.

"My life has no meaning if I don’t“, Erwin simply states.

The man huffs. "Tell you what“, he says in the end. "Stay a couple of days. Break bread with me and enjoy my tea. Then I will guide you to the castle. It will be better than you ending up in the web of the dark great spider. Don’t want see you getting your bowels consumed before you even reach the hedge.“

Erwin hesitates. He had planned on getting to the castle by the next morning, but when he looks around the cabin he supposes he can as well stay for a little while. After all it looks much more vivid and light than anything he has ever seen. Why not enjoy it for a little while before he sets out into the dark forest again, and afterward, back to the pallid fortress. He looks at the man and almost envies him. "Very well“, he finally agrees.

The man nods slowly, as if he is contemplating something. Erwin musters him, his gaze wandering to the small, delicate hands that don’t seem to go with the character of the man at all. Suddenly remembering his manners, he stands up and extends his hand. "My name is Erwin Smith, if you will.“

The man knits his eyebrows while he looks at Erwin intently. "Levi“, he states simply.

Erwin smiles a little bit. "Levi“, he finally says. "That’s an unusual name for a witch.“

 

Later Isabel takes Erwin by the arm and drags him out of the cabin into a small garden. It looks like it’s spilling over with all sorts of different herbs and plants and Erwin can even spot a couple of flowers. There are red and white roses and tiny forget-me-nots in between. 

"These are Edelweiss, we make tincture from it. Put it on any piece of cloth and it becomes invisible. And these are Devil’s Shoestring, would have done Farlan real good, it’s good for nerves. And here, you see the plant with these tiny white blossoms? You can brew a love potion from it, though Levi never shows me how he does it.“, she explains excitedly, pointing out the different herbs to Erwin. He tries to imprint the different names to memory but finds that he has them soon forgotten.

"I like helping him in the garden“, she goes on. "Farlan doesn’t as much, but even so he comes here almost as often as I do. Levi is a really good person, you know. He never turns anyone away. I just knew that he would take you in, he likes looking after people, even if he doesn’t show it always.“

Erwin contemplates her words. The three of them surely are a weird bunch. Of course he’s known that there a witches in the forest, the people from the village sometimes even visit them, if they have to, exchanging an old family heirloom or a valuable book for medicine or a spell. But these witches were rumored to be old and secluded, standing over their cauldron with their bend backs. He has never heard of one that adopted children instead of eating them. An unusual witch, that is for sure.

"Where are you when you’re not with Levi“, he asks the girl curiously. She shrugs her shoulders. "Wandering around, I like to look after the animals. Now that it’s spring there will be a lot of little ones“, she smiles. "I once found a bird with broken wings and Levi healed it…“

Just at the mention of his name Levi steps out unto the porch. He’s holding a basket in one hand and a knife in the other. "Hey, Isabel“, he calls out, "go and make a fire in the stove. It’s about time that we prepare lunch.“ The girl stands up and runs into the house, closing the door with a loud bang. 

Levi turns to Erwin. "If you want you can help me“, he suggests. "I’m getting some carrots and onions from the garden. I have some potatoes from last autumn left as well, they’ll make a good soup.“ Erwin agrees and helps the man pulling the vegetable from the earth. It is work he has only done seldom before, leaving the wenches at the fortress to it. But now it seems like the most beautiful and peaceful thing to do and as he watches Levi’s back while the man cuts some herbs he thinks that a whole life spend in the garden must not be considered wasted.

Once they’ve gone inside Erwin helps cutting up the vegetables while Farlan has finally left his place on the bed and starts boiling the water for the soup. Erwin thinks about Marie, how she used to do this kind of work everyday together with the other woman and how now she must be preparing dinner just for Nile and herself as well. God, he thinks, she is beautiful. But to his surprise for the first time in a while he doesn’t feel a sting in his heart while thinking about her. She is happy with Nile. Erwin knows this and it makes him smile.

The soup cooks slowly on the stove and they pass the time by playing a round of durak with a card set that Isabel has pulled from a box underneath the bed. It reminds Erwin of the late nights spend at the barracks and he is relieved to see that his talent has not ceased. He is the first one to get rid of his cards and watches the other three while they continue their game. Yes, he thinks, it was a good idea to stay here for a little while. The castle will be there for him tomorrow still.

When Levi serves the food he only gives Erwin and himself a share each, leaving out Isabel and Farlan. This confuses Erwin and while Levi is already eating the first couple of spoonfuls Erwin points at the both of them and asks them why they wouldn’t help themselves to the soup, Isabel merely glances at Levi while Farlan crosses his arms. "No sense in wasting perfectly good food on us, especially if all we can taste is plain old nothingness“, he snorts.

"Oh don’t be so rude, Farlan!“, Isabel exclaims. Farlan simply glares at her. They spend the rest of the meal in an uneasy silence. As soon as they stand up and start collecting the bowls Farlan leaves the house without muttering as much as a word.

Isabel sighs. "Don’t mind him“, she tells Erwin. "He’s just having one of these days again.“ She helps them cleaning the dishes and the table and when Levi offers Erwin another tea decides to sit down with them. It’s the same tea as Erwin had before and it smells even spicier than it did then, smelling like warmth and a safe place to stay.

"So you’re a soldier?“, Levi asks him, taking a sip from his own cup. Erwin notices how the man holds his cup in a quite unusual way that brings out the delicacy of his fingers, yet looks rather uncomfortable to him. 

"Yes, I serve the Lord. I am captain of his household guard.“ It is a good position that he had worked hard for, as he comes from only humble nobility. His father had never strived for expanding their lands, may it by marriage or by war. He had been content with what they had, loved his books and loved his wife even more.

Levi sneers. "Your Lord is a humongous fuckface, you know.“ Erwin starts coughing, he can feel his face flushing red. "If I had a kroon for every time one of the peasants has come to me to make his crops grow good so that he can feed his children with the new tax raise I could life as a little prince myself“, Levi continues.

As much as he wishes he could, Erwin can’t think of anything to counter the man’s words. It is true that Lord Fritz has raised the tax to finance his ever growing court, with all these new counselors coming in from all over the country, whispering in the man’s ear, telling him to expand his family’s fortune by giving his daughters to even more powerful and older men than himself and selling his lower soldiers to other countries far across the sea.

"I serve him and I served his father before him. I’ve knelt before his father and sworn to protect his son with my life, before he passed away“, Erwin finally counters.

"Ah, yes“, Levi scoffs at his words. "And yet you have marched into the forest looking for the chamber of desire. You must not be the most loyal soldier if you wonder in secret that your Lord is not as righteous and honorable as everyone thinks he is.“

Erwin’s eyes turn to his cup, which is empty by now. Of course he had that particular feeling since a long time by now. Since his father had died all these years ago suddenly. There had to be something more behind his death. Erwin strived to find the answers, and it had been this strive that had lead him into the forest. But before he can answer, Isabel jumps up.

"I think it’s time that I look after Farlan“, she announces. "He should have had enough time by himself now.“ It has gotten dark outside by then. And of she is and Erwin remains alone in the room with Levi, who stands up as well.

"Let’s fix the bed for you“, he decides. "But I must say that I don’t have any loose clothes for the night that might fit you.“ Erwin shrugs. "It’s fine“, he says, "I will just sleep in my shirt.“ Still, when he removes his clothes he tries to turn away from Levi, suddenly embarrassed. This strikes him weird, as he had never a problem with his own nakedness around others before, not with his life at the soldier’s barracks for years.

It’s only when he sits down on the bed and pulls the quilt over himself that he considers it. "Where are you going to sleep?“, he asks Levi. The man shrugs. "On the armchair most likely, it’s not like I’ll find much sleep anyway“. Erwin protests at that, standing up from the bed. "Oh please“, the man counters. "I would not offer it to you if I would need the bed, I seldom even use it. It’s rude to decline hospitality, you know.“

In the end Erwin gives in and sinks down on the bed. They don’t talk anymore but Erwin can hear Levi rummaging around the room and finally falls asleep to the agreeable sound of his quiet footsteps.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I would get the ending of this fanfic done with this chapter, but somehow the plot got away from me. I think there is only one chapter left after this one, though. Let me know if you enjoy this chapter or have any improvement suggestions!

Erwin dreams of washing ashore on a distant island. The salt water burns his lungs and clogs his eyes but he is alive and he laughs while he lies in the warm sand. The sun burns his skin but he has never been more content with himself. He can hear the quiet waves breaking and birds singing from the forest behind himself. He has never been at the sea before. He can hear someone move behind himself and he pushes himself up, slowly, looking at the dark figure that draws nearer with every step. He recognizes Levi. The man looks down at him, staying quiet and in the end sitting down besides him.

When Erwin wakes up he can still feel the encompassing warmth on his skin. He stretches a little bit and smells the familiar scent of butter and fresh bread. It must be already late, he realizes. I must have slept in. They share the breakfast while Levi announces that he needs to collect some ingredients in the wood for a potion.

"You can accompany me, might be getting boring, staying alone at the hut,“ he proposes, to which Erwin agrees. 

"I just hope that you’ve learned in a way that doesn’t include letting you sorry ass fall down some tree," the man sneers. "Can’t have you dying while collecting mistletoes.“

 

They pack a lunch for the way, spreading strawberry jam on slices of bread, and some little carriages. Before they set out Levi leaves a little note on the door of his house. When Erwin asks for whom the man merely shrugs. "There are plenty of people coming to me. Besides, Isabel might be curious to see you again.“

The Wood has not lost its darkness over the last day, but with Levi by his side it seems less horrifying. They spend the day roaming through the underwood. Levi instructs Erwin on what to look out for. The little blue berries between thick bushes, mistletoes that grow high up in the trees and a certain kind of brown mushroom that glows slightly golden in the sun and only grows by a shallow creek. They take of their shoes and dip their feet into the water, enjoying the cool feeling in the midst of the early summer.

Afterwards they eat their lunch, sitting on a big stone by the river. If there are any creatures left in the forest Levi’s mere presence must keep them away. Erwin doesn’t spot one werewolf or centaur, not even a tiny gnome. 

"There’s only one thing left we ought to get," the man announces. They pack their provisions and make their way to a humongous and old oak tree. It is dead, Erwin notices. "Stay here," Levi instructs him, climbing the tree, pulling himself up the branches with a speed that Erwin would not have anticipated. Suddenly the man vanishes from his view. The tree must be hollow within. Soon Levi reappears, holding a transparent vial in his hand, filled with a grey powder.

When they get back to the cabin Isabel waits for them by the front porch. She jumps up as soon as she sees them, asking Levi if she can help with the potion. "Well," he says, "you can light the fire underneath the cauldron, the small one.“ Erwin helps Levi bring their collected goods into the house, but as soon as this is done the man dismisses both him and Isabel, claiming that the following work needs to be done by him or the spell does not work.

Erwin sits down with Isabel on the bed, asking the girl where Farlan is, after all he would have guessed that the two of them spend most of their time together.

"I haven’t seen him today“, she confides to him. "He gets really sad sometimes and then he spends the whole day by the sheep-run in the mountains, it’s been getting worse the last couple of days again.“

Erwin wrinkles his eyebrows. There is a lot he does not know, about these people in this little cabin, and he does not know how many questions he’s allowed to ask. 

"You were out with Levi today“, Isabel changes the subject, smiling at him. Erwin looks at the man, who stands over his cauldron, mumbling spells softly under his breath while he stirs the mixture. His black hair falls over his eyes and makes Erwin want to push it away.

 

Isabel leaves after Levi has finished his potion and they had a simple dinner. Erwin returns to the bed with a cup of tea that Levi has made him. He shuffles a little bit to the left, so that Levi can sit down besides him. While Erwin slowly drinks his tea he finally asks, "What is this with Isabel and Farlan, I mean, what are they exactly.“

Levi musters him quietly, than he says simply, "Their ghosts.“ A shiver runs down Erwin’s spine. There are the tales in the village, of abandoned farms with violent ghosts inside that devour you raw as soon as you even set a foot inside.

"Well, they don’t seem like the kind of ghosts that I’ve heard of," he admits.

Levi snorts. "Certainly they don’t. You people with your myths.“ He falls quiet. "They are simply people that did not find a peaceful rest," he says but not explaining further.

"And they like to come to your place quite often?“

Levi takes a deep breath. "They do that since years by now. God knows when they’ve met, and after some time they ended up at my door. I believe they were quite alone, otherwise.“

"You must have been that too, alone I mean.“

Levi’s eyes are unreadable in the dark. "I would not have expressed it that way, but I guess one can say that“, he admits quietly.

Erwin curls up on the bed, having discarded the tea cup on the commode. Levi stays sitting by his side, guiding him into a peaceful sleep. And it is only on the verge to a dream that Erwin remembers the castle. I’ll go, soon, he tells himself. Soon I’ll leave.

 

From there on his new life at Levi’s cabin drifts into a routine. He helps the man with his work around the house, looks after the garden, collects all kind of different herbs and mushrooms. Sometimes Levi explains their effects on the one that consumes them. How some of them in a small portion can heal leprosy while too much of it "causes your penis to swell and let out pus," as Levi words it.

Isabel comes by often. It seems that the attitude that she has showed towards him fron the first day has not changed in the slightest. She is cheerful in his presence, never running out of new things to tell him about. However he sees Farlan only two times since he has left the cabin in a hurry on the first day. When he mentions it to Isabel the girl just sighs.

"I really don’t know," she says. "Normally his phases pass after a couple of days, but this has been going on for weeks!“ She falls quiet after a while. "He doesn’t want to talk to me“, she finally admits. „He just wants to stay alone by the mountain and watch him the whole day…," she drifts of. 

"Anyways," she changes the subject, "how about your plan to wander to the castle?“ Erwin blinks a little bit before he can answer. He had almost forgotten about his plan.

"Soon," he answers simply. He doesn’t want to leave yet. He has found so much happiness at this place, he just cannot give it all up. He thinks about Levi, how the man makes him the same tea every evening, often sitting beside him until he falls asleep. The delicate hands of his, the small pouty mouth and the deep, deep eyes. Sometimes, during these moments, he gets an itching in his fingers to pull the man closer, but it never lasts longer than a couple of seconds until his embarrassment overpowers any other feeling.

"It’s good that you are staying for now," Isabel smiles at him. "I really would not want to see another person to get hurt.“

When Erwin looks at her he can’t help but wonder what a difficult life she must had lived. Her dirty dress and disheveled hair speak a thousand words. He has images in his head, of violent men and crying children. She must have been torn from her fairly short life, if she did not pass to the underground. Whatever it was, it keeps her soul inprisoned on earth while so many others have gone on. Yet when he looks at her easy smile he knows better than to ask her.

 

It’s a late afternoon that brings a surprise, when Erwin hears a faint knock on the door while he sits in Levi’s armchair as the man cleans through his cupboard. The man dries his hands on a towel, then goes to the door to open it. There is a woman behind it, her hood is pulled deep over her face and she is clutching her hands, shaking a little bit. "You don’t happen to sell a tincture against melancholia," she asks almost in a whisper. Levi invites her in and she does so tentatively as if she expects to be killed on the spot.

It is only when she is inside the house that she pulls down her hood and spots Erwin at the same time that he recognizes her. It is Marie. They stare at each other blankly for a couple of seconds until she runs towards him and falls into his arms. "Where have you been?" she exclaims, laughing a little bit before letting out a quiet sob. "They say you’re a deserter, that you’re a traitor to the Lord.“ 

Erwin wrinkles his eyebrows. "I did not want to be gone for long," he remembers. "Just a couple of days, surely I would have found an explanation for that.“

"You have been gone since early summer," Marie tells him seriously. "Erwin, the first trees have started to loose their leaves. Soon we’ll be celebrating harvest.“ Erwin does not know what to answer to that so he stays quiet.

Soon Levi starts looking for the particular vial with the potion Marie ordered. "Nile has not been doing well lately," she confides Erwin. "He has to do all these awful things in the name of the Lord. There has been a small uprising, some peasants complaining about the tax. He had to torture them. It’s been really getting to him, he seldom even finds happiness around our baby anymore. But then he serves the Lord, what choice does he have.“

Erwin nods sympathetically. He knows that he would have been forced to do this work, should he have decided to stay at the fortress. 

"So how did you end up here of all places?“ Marie asks him, frowning slightly. 

"I hurt myself while walking through the forest. Couple of kids found me and brought me here, I guess I haven’t left since," he explains briefly. 

Marie sighs. "Well, as much as I hate to say this, but I think it would be better if you don’t return to the village for the time being. I can only guess what the punishment for deserters will be.“

Marie takes her leave soon afterwards, after she exchanged a small silk tissue for the vial, but not before making Erwin promise that he will look after himself and assuring that she will come and visit him again soon.

Levi joins him while he watches her figure slowly disappear in the distance by the window.

"She is a special person to you," the man states.

"Yes, she is. She was the most wonderful person there is to me.“ Erwin smiles, looking back at his memories of her.

"She is not anymore?“ Erwin looks Levi long into his unreadable, dark eyes, taking slow breaths. He thinks of quiet mornings at teas late at night. 

"No, not anymore," he answers in the end.

 

In the night Erwin wakes covered in sweat, breathing heavenly. He had dreamed that dream again, that had haunted him during his childhood all the way into his late teens. The one where he sees his father, lying in some ditch, blood all over, like a deer hunted down. He can feel himself shaking. I’m hyperventilating, he thinks. He can’t make it stop. 

He can feel someone stepping closer and notices that it is Levi. The man sits down beside him. He runs his fingers through his hair, the gentle touch at the back of his head slowly grounding Erwin. He can feel tears rising in his eyes and bites his lips. Don’t cry, he tells himself, you’re not a child anymore.

"Lay down besides me," he asks almost pleadingly. Levi hesitates for a moment but then does so without saying a word. He keeps stroking Erwin’s hair and the man tries to adjust his own breaths to the slow rise and fall of Levi’s chest. He falls asleep at last with this rhythm passing over into his dreams. 

When he wakes the next day Levi is still sleeping, which surprises Erwin. It’s unusual, the man having only slept a couple of hours each night since Erwin has stayed with him. It gives Erwin a chance to examine the man’s relaxed face. Without the typical scoff on his features he looks young, more a boy than a man. Erwin eyes the small, peaky lips and imagines for a second what they might feel like, before he catches himself.

He props himself up on his elbows, his right hand hovering over Levi’s hip until he pulls it back and drops down on his back. He doesn’t know what to think, even feels a little bit guilty. He knows that there can be these attractions between two man, it is not unheard of, but it is seldom encouraged. It promises nothing, no marriage, no children, no passing on the family’s name. He’s heard of a boy who was sent to the monastery by his family, after an affair with a journeyman. He groans and lies for a while, trying to comprehend his thoughts. After a while he fakes falling asleep again, not wanting to disturb Levi.

After a while the man besides him moves lightly, turning towards Erwin. Slowly Erwin opens his eyes, finding the other man’s lingering on him. They stare at each other for a while, neither knowing what to say. In the end Levi shuffles a little bit closer, touching Erwin’s shins with his toes. They are cold as ice. 

Suddenly the door bangs open and Isabel jumps in. Erwin jerks back as electrified. He sits up in bed and pulls on his undershirt trying to cover himself as much as he can. Levi stands up swiftly, turning to the girl. 

"What is it, Isabel," he asks quietly.

"It’s Farlan," the girl says out of breath. "He’s fading away. Like he’s getting unstuck from this world.“ Tears are rising to her eyes and she sobs inaudibly. "Levi, I think he’s dying.“

To Erwin this seemed like a strange thing to say about a ghost, but he could still feel the worry rising in his chest. "Have you talked to him," he asks. "Has he told you anything about why this might be happening to him?“

But Isabel just shakes her head. "He won’t talk to me," she says. "He just wants to be left alone, all he does is sit on top of that mountain.“ She takes a little breath. "I think he wants to pass away," she is crying again, her eyes glued to her feet.

"Can you maybe speak with him," Erwin asks Levi in a whisper, but the man just shakes his head. 

"He won’t listen to me more than to Isabel," he admits. "We had too many differences in the past.“ His face has a new expression, almost pained, that Erwin has not seen before.

"Then I will talk to him," Erwin decides. "Maybe he’ll be willing to tell me what has gotten into him.“ 

Isabel looks up from the floor, her breath evening out slowly. Levi turns to him. "That might work out," he states. 

 

Isabel leads him to the foot of the mountain and instructs him where he will find Farlan. "He always hides behind this big rock, at the corner of the sheep pasture. Make sure not to show yourself to the shepherd.“ Erwin nods. He starts his climb.

He follows an old trail that leads through bushes and underwood up the mountain in the form of loop. For a while he walks next to a cliff, peering down the white stone that goes down for feet and feet. He throws down a pebble to test the debt but does not see or hear it hitting the ground. Soon he thinks that he cannot be far from the mountain top, after all the mountain was not an exceptionally big one but the climb does not seem to end. Soon he’s panting, dragging himself up with every step, even though he is proud to call himself quite fit. His mind turns to Farlan and how the boy must have followed this trail almost every day the last couple of week. 

When he finally spots the sheep run the sun is already drawing near the western horizon. The quietness that has embraced everything before is now breached with the sound of bells and bleats of the sheep. He minds going around the run far enough, so that he can stay behind the bushes and not be spotted by the old man, who guards his sheep sternly yet appears worn-out, as if every wrinkle on his face lays heavily on his back. Erwin soon sees the rock Isabel must have been talking about. It is big enough for a person to hide behind, but when he comes nearer he discovers that there is even a little cave behind it. When he crouches down he can see Farlan lying in the back of it, sleeping.

Erwin climbs in, carefully as not to hit his back and sits down next to the boy. He hovers over him, lightly. He can see what Isabel meant. While the boy is certainly here, certainly lying next to him, the corners of his appearance seem to wrinkle, is if they are a fata morgana, hidden behind warm air. If it is possible he looks even more pallid than usually. Erwin lays his hand on Farlan’s shoulder and the boy wakes up suddenly, gasping quietly, then wrinkling his eyebrows when he recognizes Erwin.

"What are you doing here," the boy asks while he pulls himself up in a sitting position. 

"Isabel worries about you," Erwin explains. "Or in fact, we all do.“

Farlan simply shrugs and pulls his legs nearer to his body. "I think he’s dying," he finally utters.

This confuses Erwin. "Who?“ he asks, thinking franticly who the boy could possibly mean, surely not Levi or Isabel?

When Farlan looks at Erwin he laughs inaudibly. "You must have seen him on the way here, the shepherd, Arthur.“

Erwin cannot make anything of this information. "How is…,“ he starts, but then stops before he can ask his question. The death of another person is always painful, but in this case there seems to be more behind it. There must be something the boy is not telling him, something that has caused his behavior. "Why is he of such importance to you?“, he finally asks.

The boy laughs quietly. "I fell in love with him, when I was still of this world. Really of this world, mind you, not a ghost that should have gone under the earth a long time ago.“

When he sees Erwin’s perplexed expression he sneers. "Has Levi never told you“, he says. "Ghosts are people hurt so badly that not even hell wants to take them. That’s why I have to watch him grow old and not be part of it, as if my pathetic life seeks to punish me all over again.“

So I was right, Erwin thinks. About Isabel, that something horrible must have happened to her, and to Farlan as well.

"I fell in love with Arthur when he was no older than 18,“ Farlan goes on. "I have been an outsider all my life. I just could not fit in with the other boys. They were to loud, to harsh, to unruly. I preferred spending time by myself. This certainly did not help my reputation. But when I met Arthur for the first time, when he came to help out my father with his animals, but he had this thing about himself that caught my attention, you know“ Erwin nods. He mind wanders to dark eyes and delicate hands.

"Anyway, if Arthur guessed anything about my behavior he did not show it. The other boys did, though.“ Farlan grimaces. He gets rigid. "I don’t think they wanted to kill me. Just push me around a little bit, straighten me out, it was just my luck that my head landet on that rock when I fell…,“ he drifts of.

It pains Erwin, to hear that a live had ended so early for no reason at all. "Who knows,“ he tries to comfort the boy, "he might have loved you as well.“

Farlan shrugs. "Who knows“, he says. "I think I come here so often because of this feeling in my chest, the one that makes me need to be near him, even though he has gotten so old.“ 

He falls quiet again, then he whispers, "If he passes I will vanish as well from this earth, I know it, it will be soon.“ He smiles meekly.

The words create a pressure in the cool, low cave. 

After a while Farlan turns to Erwin. "What was it that you were searching for in the forest?“ he asks.

Erwin can feel the answer on his tongue, but somehow a cloud fills his head. As much as he tries he cannot answer, cannot even think of what he wanted to say to begin with. "Tell you later“, he finally mumbles.

"Will you come back with me to Levi’s place,“ he changes the subject.

Farlan takes a deep breath, but then he decides, "I might as well.“

They leave the cave when the darkness has already surrounded everything and the sheep have already been brought back to their village bei the shepherd. They reach the hut without any problem, not even spotting a tiny elf in the dark.

 

Isabel is happier than ever to have Farlan back, hugging the boy and refusing to let go of him. Levi has prepared them all something to eat, dumplings with a girolle sauce. They eat their food in content, telling stories of little important and laughing. Afterwards they clean the dishes together and Levi heats the water for the tea while Erwin goes outside, planning on washing himself by the vat. 

Just before he enters the hut again he stops by the door as he hears loud voices coming out from inside.

"You can’t be serious, Levi!“ Erwin can make out Farlan’s voice. He sounds furious. "I don’t understand how you can do something so immoral, especially you!“

"Don’t you understand, he would have gone to that castle, if I would not have stopped him. Let himself get killed like all the others. Farlan, I can’t let this happen to him.“ Levi replies sharply.

"Well, I don’t care what you’re reasons are. This is not right, and you know it. You can as well leave out the potion and force yourself directly on him and it would make no difference to the way you act with him.“

"So what are you telling me to do, let him run into the thorns?“

"Well, I’m not telling you to kill him. But he needs to make his own choices, everything else would be wrong.“

It’s in this moment that Erwin decides to enter the room. Levi and Farlan fall quiet immediately, but Erwin can tell that both are still angry.

Levi scoffs and turns back to his stove while Farlan picks up a book and sits down, but it seems to Erwin that he is not reading at all. 

This evening Levi serves Erwin a different tea, one that reminds him of the one his mother would give him when he was still a child. 

"Lie down next to me,“ he asks Levi when he goes to bed and the man does so without saying a word. Still Erwin starts dreaming about his father again and wakes up in the middle of the night. Levi is sleeping next to him, quietly snoring. Erwin steps over him, carefully not to wake him. He puts on his clothes and his shoes and writes a little note. Then he leaves the cabin. After all it is not a long way from here to the castle. He might be back by the evening.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [Tumblr](http://wolkenatlas.tumblr.com) if you like to come visit!
> 
> English is not my native language so please tell me if you find any grammar mistakes :0


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